5 boundaries and habits I am using for a happier, healthier school year
In the last few years, a lot of things have changed for me personally, and with the teaching profession in general. During the early days of the pandemic, while teaching from home with a 3 year old and a baby on the way, I had to set some solid boundaries to avoid burnout and breakdown. If anything, it felt the pressure doubled after my return to the classroom after having my second. I was teaching 20 in person students and multiple online students SIMULTANEOUSLY every day. It was exhausting and without those boundaries and lots of support from my family, I don’t think I would have been able to continue in the profession.
Maybe you have incredibly supportive systems in place at your school. Mine didn’t. We have little/no tech support, no professional development opportunities…the list could go on and on. Instead of focusing on the parts of my job I couldn’t change, I had to change what I could to make it through. Here are some of my takeaways and plans for this upcoming school year.
- DO NOT SHARE MY PERSONAL CONTACT INFORMATION. During Covid teaching from home, in my emergency bid to set up Google classroom, I connected it to my personal email. Now I have a completely separate account for school related needs. I have never been one to give families my cell phone number, but if you are someone who does this, it might be a boundary to consider. Professionals you need to contact- your doctor, hair salon etc. almost all have separate business lines. You do too- the school office line!
- DO NOT RESPOND TO EMAILS ETC AFTER HOURS. During teaching from home, I set up office hours from the sheer necessity of being home with my 3 year old while also continuing to be a full time teacher. I continued this for the last two years- I will respond to calls and emails from 7:00 am to 3:30 or 4:00 pm. I only respond to calls and emails from school on my school computer- never on my phone or personal device. Again, if I call a professional like my doctor outside of office hours, I receive a response the next business day. It’s ok for this to be the norm for teachers.
- LET GO OF OTHERS DOING THEIR JOB POORLY. I have a lot of thoughts on this, and it’s probably my most controversial boundary. But it was incredibly frustrating to me to be expected to learn technology that no one in my admin had to use or could use when asked. It was incredibly frustrating to me to uphold school standards when others couldn’t or wouldn’t. This year I am doing my job well and not letting others’ poor performance reflect on me. If someone’s actions are hurting others, obviously I will address it. But this year I am not going to focus on what others are doing. For one thing, I need to be less judgmental. For another, I have really struggled the last two years with mental health issues that sometimes got in the way of my performance. The odds are that my colleagues have too.
- WEEKENDS ARE FOR FAMILY. This is nonnegotiable. Unfortunately, like most teachers, I have a side job as well, and that takes up my Sunday mornings, but Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sunday afternoons are going to be strictly for family. At one point last year I remember saying to my counselor, “I feel like everyone else’s kids get my absolute best, and my kids get my worst.” This year I am committed to changing that. Eventually I want to come up with good routines for after school, but I think the weekends are the place to start.
- ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT. Last year was one of my most difficult personally. The very first day of school began with my family in the emergency room for my oldest. I remember panicking about having to call of school and also about what the heck to tell a sub to do when I didn’t even know my students yet. So I typed “sub plans” in the notes feature of my phone while my son labored to breathe in the hospital bed next to me. THIS WAS CRAZY. In no other profession would this be the expectation of someone who was dealing with a family emergency involving their four year old. Later in the year, with the help of a counselor and the glaring need to make some changes, I was able to ask my coworkers for help when I was in a crisis situation. Shocker: no one hated me and everything turned out fine.
I’m hoping that by setting firm boundaries and sticking to some habits I’ve cultivated since starting counseling in the spring I can return to some of the things I’ve loved in the past, including writing here and developing amazing religion lessons that I am proud to share.
What are you hoping to accomplish this year? What boundaries and habits will help you realize your goals?
